Do you remember that scene in the movie, "What to Expect When You're Expecting?"when Elizabeth Banks breaks down and confesses how hard pregnancy really is and called pregnancy glow as bullshit.
That is very true.
There may have been those days when I presumably had a "glow" but that's because you saw me on my best hour where I took the entire day to get ready, put shimmer on my cheeks, and got out of my plus sized pjs. But trust me, I was NOT glowing.
I threw up everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
On the train, check.
On the floor of the bus, check.
On the side of the street where I worked, check.
In all three of my toilets at home, check.
On all the toilets at my work, check.
At my brother's house, check (sorry).
I threw up for 4 months straight plus more on my last trimester. I lost 8 kilos in the first 4 months.
But ohhhh did I gain those back plus more.
When I got hungry, the last thing I wanted to hear was the infamous advice that pregnant women do not necessarily need to gain that much weight and we should be careful (this advice is always said by women who have never been pregnant. The ones that have been know better). Honestly, we have been to the doctor's office. We have been given the professional advice on how to treat out body. WE KNOW.
After I had Hasouni, I immediately lost 10 kilos which immediately followed the comment, "oh, he's only 3 kg so how come you lost 10kg?
Well you know what...
First of all, it's not like I gulped Hasouni and he went straight into my stomach and I gained 3 kg. I'm thinking that if it takes 9 months for a baby to be developed in the body, I think, I THINK there is more to it.
When you're pregnant, you don't get those feelings "yeah, not really hungry but I could eat." When you're pregnant and you're hungry, you want to gauge someone's eyes out but you try to keep it cool...
It was as if you were on the brink of starvation.
The heavier the meal was, the better I felt. It was a crappy feeling, but that's it. That's what happens when you get pregnant. For the love of God, you are creating a HUMAN inside you. Its tough business. You don't have control over your emotion, you don't have control over what you eat. You obvious do not want to eat bad food because you only want the best for your child but when you are spewing after every attempted meal, you just hope to God that you can eat something.
One night before I knew I was pregnant, Amar and I were in the kitchen and I was telling him that I was starving. I told him to go to his parents house and get the dish of food that I knew his parents made that day. I was really craving it. I was dead serious. Amar was shocked. He said, "you want me to go home, wake my parents up, and get you a plate of their food." I didn't understand what the problem was. All I heard from that was that I was hungry and I wanted a plate of the delicious meal they made. To me, it was basically a compliment to them. I was craving it so much that I thought for a split second, am I pregnant and why is he still here!??? But that thought went away and I kept trying to convince him. He didn't end up going.
Unfortunately, pregnancy is hard for some and for others it may not be. AlhamdouAllah, I found raising a baby to be easier and even though pregnancy was hard, I would do it all over again for him.
On a good note, HASAN SAID MAMA!!!
Next post will be less dramatic. I promise.